Poetry

Empty House

12.31.??

“I used to love being close enough to you
to listen to you breathe
Just to know we were breathing the same air
Was good enough for me
We held each other like this love would last forever
Neither of us had ever known an everlasting love

But this love was pretty close
This love woke me up with my favorite song
And this love knew all the words
This love called me honey like it was my first name
This love was sweet
This love was like Sunday mornings with your favorite book
This love was my favorite book
I held the book in my hands like a winning lotto ticket
This book kept me up at night

I could tell that the story was coming to an end
So I gave more
I gave you my smile, my lips, my tongue
I gave you my voice
I gave you my arms, my shoulders, the buckle of my knee
I gave you my stability
I gave you my thoughts, my time, my attention
I gave you my inner peace
I gave you my body, the place I called home
I gave you everything

If you told me you needed more, I would’ve given it to you
I didn’t realize then that I was an empty house
That I’d given you all the pieces of me that I desperately needed
That you were my Saturn, my church house, my family, my friend
I thought I’d never be whole again

If I could’ve given you more, I would have”

 


I wrote this poem at a time when I was so broken. I depended on another person for my happiness. For my joy.

Sometimes, I feel so stagnant. Like I’m in the same place I was this time last year.. or the year before. Then I stumble upon something like this.

I’m so proud of how much I’ve grown & so thankful for the everlasting love of our God.

“When I was Your foe, still Your love fought for me
You have been so, so good to me
When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me
You have been so, so kind to me”

 

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