Poetry

enough

I look at you and I feel so angry

Not because of the things you did

But because you don’t understand the gravity of your decisions

I feel so sad for that girl who spent so many months, so many years grieving

I feel so sad for that girl who wanted to end her life for so long

I wonder what I would be like without you

I look at you now and I feel so much anger

I will never be able to articulate the pain you caused me

I’ve tried, and I’ve failed

I feel so sad for that girl who stopped eating, stopped drinking

I wish I could remind her of her own gravity

Most days I’m still that girl

So sad, and so empty, and so alone

Most days I feel so undeserving of anything good

Most days I feel like I’m not good enough

Most days I feel like I never will be

I sit across the table from you and I see you smile

I wonder if you know the pain you inflicted upon me

I know that you don’t

You tell me about all the pain I caused you

Somehow I end up apologizing

I guess I’m still trying to be good enough

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